Life lessons I’ve learnt in my 20s (Or How Not to be a Complete Spaz)
People always talk about your teens as being the time in your life where you learn the most valuable lessons about growing up. But our 20s are also still a time for learning, and becoming familiar with who we are, what the hell we’re doing in life, etc. Here is a list of things that I have discovered:
1. High School really was the best time of my life
Not entirely- I went to a tiny Catholic school, wasn’t overly popular and I sucked at anything remotely sporty. For me, high school wasn’t wonderful because of popularity or anything like that- it was the freedom I had… and the disposable income. When you’re 16, nobody cares if you blow your pocket money on clothes or parties. Nobody is judging you for not having anything saved up, or a 5 year plan. Your weekends were for sleeping late, sulking like only an adolescent can, and hanging out with friends. No career climbing, university deadlines, tricky relationships, or worrying about what to wear (I had a horrid grey standard private school uniform, with strict rules about make-up and hair)
2. I will never be able to grow my fringe (bangs) out without awkwardly looking like one of The Beatles
In your 20s, you’re still defining who you are, and what your style is- for me, that means switching between boho beach bum to 60s housewife depending on the occasion. I’m pretty happy with my personal style… I just wish I could say the same about my hair. I wanted that adorable Zooey Deschanel look, but forgot about the upkeep. The unfortunate thing is, with an enormous forehead as big as mine, hair without a fringe is not really a plausible option (Seriously, my forehead is so huge, I was once on a date when a guy said “Could you use that as a solar panel?”) result? I’m stuck with an awkward cowlick afflicted mop of hair that I constantly have to trim and style. Ugh
3. Being Popular doesn’t make you less lonely.
When you’re in high school, social acceptance is a really big deal. Don’t believe me? Think about all of the times you’ve said “Ugh,  I’ll just die if I don’t get invited to So and So’s Birthday!”, and so on. Well, in your 20s, you soon realise it’s quality over quantity. For a while I boasted a high number of friends. I was happy with having a different party to attend every night, and got a kick out of all the notifications and tagged photos I had on facebook. But after a while, I realised that even if I had a huge number of aquantances, my life was, in fact, pretty lonely. I was wading my way through boring conversations and forcing myself to attend parties for people I didn’t care for. Eventually I decided to sift through my list of friends and only make time for those that I actually cared about and got along with. In your 20s you realise that popularity is not a neccessity, and that you’ll survive just fine with only a handful of comprades rather than an entire posse.
4. The rockstar boyfriend is just a guy in fancy jeans
Oh, we’ve all been there, haven’t we? We see the gorgeous guy, with his oozing charisma and his undeniable charm, and we fall head over heels for him. I’m talking about the sweet talking bass players, the naturally fit surfers, the beyond sexy bad boy on his motorbike. Well, newsflash, ladies- a fling in your early 20s with any of these fella’s is a great anecdote for storytime, sure, but that’s about it. As I’ve grown up, I’ve realised the drama involved with these guys is just not worth it. Not to mention their “I’m a struggling artist just trying to find my muse” bullshit, and their non-existant bank accounts. I’ve soon come to learn that these men are encapsulated in a time bubble of their younger days, incapable of growing up- and that all they’ll really leave me with are sheets burned by cigarettes and a few memorable laughs. But in your 20s- you learn that if you’re going to date someone- they need a little substance beneath their polished exterior, and a little more stability.
5. I’ve learnt to love my quirks…
Growing up, we’re told to “fit in” and to be appealing, we should be “normal”. In my 20s I’ve learnt that being normal is something that I am never going to achieve- and instead of shying away from the quirks I have, I’ve decided to embrace them. So what if I’m an avid fan of anything Harry Potter related? Who really cares if I yell offensive slurs at the TV when watching hockey/soccer? Why should it bother anyone that I listen to Frank Sinatra when I’m cleaning, or that I despise anything that smells like Vanilla? These traits are what make me who I am. Now that I’m older- I’ve realised I really just couldn’t give a flying f*ck about what anyone has to say about my quirky, harmless traits.
6. … and work on my flaws
That being said, in my 20s I have also learnt that there are traits that I need to work on. When you’re younger it’s okay to be lazy, or sarcastic or a gossip- but as you get older, these little traits become big flaws, stopping you from really living out your life to its fullest. For me, it was learning to accept the blame for things that went wrong in my life (well, apart from the Leonard Luck curse, of course) and figuring out what I needed to do to be a better person. I had to tackle my insecurities when it came to dating; put more effort in when it came to studying; and be a little more compassionate when it came to a friend in need.
All in all, our 20s is an awkward transition from teenager to adult- we haven’t got life quite figured out just yet, but we’ve come a hell of a long way since the days we wore neon sneakers and bopped our heads to angry punk music.

Life lessons I’ve learnt in my 20s (Or How Not to be a Complete Spaz)

People always talk about your teens as being the time in your life where you learn the most valuable lessons about growing up. But our 20s are also still a time for learning, and becoming familiar with who we are, what the hell we’re doing in life, etc. Here is a list of things that I have discovered:

1. High School really was the best time of my life

Not entirely- I went to a tiny Catholic school, wasn’t overly popular and I sucked at anything remotely sporty. For me, high school wasn’t wonderful because of popularity or anything like that- it was the freedom I had… and the disposable income. When you’re 16, nobody cares if you blow your pocket money on clothes or parties. Nobody is judging you for not having anything saved up, or a 5 year plan. Your weekends were for sleeping late, sulking like only an adolescent can, and hanging out with friends. No career climbing, university deadlines, tricky relationships, or worrying about what to wear (I had a horrid grey standard private school uniform, with strict rules about make-up and hair)

2. I will never be able to grow my fringe (bangs) out without awkwardly looking like one of The Beatles

In your 20s, you’re still defining who you are, and what your style is- for me, that means switching between boho beach bum to 60s housewife depending on the occasion. I’m pretty happy with my personal style… I just wish I could say the same about my hair. I wanted that adorable Zooey Deschanel look, but forgot about the upkeep. The unfortunate thing is, with an enormous forehead as big as mine, hair without a fringe is not really a plausible option (Seriously, my forehead is so huge, I was once on a date when a guy said “Could you use that as a solar panel?”) result? I’m stuck with an awkward cowlick afflicted mop of hair that I constantly have to trim and style. Ugh

3. Being Popular doesn’t make you less lonely.

When you’re in high school, social acceptance is a really big deal. Don’t believe me? Think about all of the times you’ve said “Ugh,  I’ll just die if I don’t get invited to So and So’s Birthday!”, and so on. Well, in your 20s, you soon realise it’s quality over quantity. For a while I boasted a high number of friends. I was happy with having a different party to attend every night, and got a kick out of all the notifications and tagged photos I had on facebook. But after a while, I realised that even if I had a huge number of aquantances, my life was, in fact, pretty lonely. I was wading my way through boring conversations and forcing myself to attend parties for people I didn’t care for. Eventually I decided to sift through my list of friends and only make time for those that I actually cared about and got along with. In your 20s you realise that popularity is not a neccessity, and that you’ll survive just fine with only a handful of comprades rather than an entire posse.

4. The rockstar boyfriend is just a guy in fancy jeans

Oh, we’ve all been there, haven’t we? We see the gorgeous guy, with his oozing charisma and his undeniable charm, and we fall head over heels for him. I’m talking about the sweet talking bass players, the naturally fit surfers, the beyond sexy bad boy on his motorbike. Well, newsflash, ladies- a fling in your early 20s with any of these fella’s is a great anecdote for storytime, sure, but that’s about it. As I’ve grown up, I’ve realised the drama involved with these guys is just not worth it. Not to mention their “I’m a struggling artist just trying to find my muse” bullshit, and their non-existant bank accounts. I’ve soon come to learn that these men are encapsulated in a time bubble of their younger days, incapable of growing up- and that all they’ll really leave me with are sheets burned by cigarettes and a few memorable laughs. But in your 20s- you learn that if you’re going to date someone- they need a little substance beneath their polished exterior, and a little more stability.

5. I’ve learnt to love my quirks…

Growing up, we’re told to “fit in” and to be appealing, we should be “normal”. In my 20s I’ve learnt that being normal is something that I am never going to achieve- and instead of shying away from the quirks I have, I’ve decided to embrace them. So what if I’m an avid fan of anything Harry Potter related? Who really cares if I yell offensive slurs at the TV when watching hockey/soccer? Why should it bother anyone that I listen to Frank Sinatra when I’m cleaning, or that I despise anything that smells like Vanilla? These traits are what make me who I am. Now that I’m older- I’ve realised I really just couldn’t give a flying f*ck about what anyone has to say about my quirky, harmless traits.

6. … and work on my flaws

That being said, in my 20s I have also learnt that there are traits that I need to work on. When you’re younger it’s okay to be lazy, or sarcastic or a gossip- but as you get older, these little traits become big flaws, stopping you from really living out your life to its fullest. For me, it was learning to accept the blame for things that went wrong in my life (well, apart from the Leonard Luck curse, of course) and figuring out what I needed to do to be a better person. I had to tackle my insecurities when it came to dating; put more effort in when it came to studying; and be a little more compassionate when it came to a friend in need.

All in all, our 20s is an awkward transition from teenager to adult- we haven’t got life quite figured out just yet, but we’ve come a hell of a long way since the days we wore neon sneakers and bopped our heads to angry punk music.

(Source: mickmatters)

What They Don’t Teach You in School (Or How I use the Theorum of Pythagorus in everyday life)
A while ago I reblogged a short post someone had written about how they never learnt any important “life skills” at school. The thought keeps coming back to me, and I find myself constantly encountering new challenges, even now, in my mid-twenties. (Did I just say mid-twenties? Oh Goodness, I’m getting old!) Things that everyone just seem to know about. I can’t help but feel like I missed out on something. When I was in school, we never had any kind of class that even remotely prepared us for real life. Being a Catholic Convent, our “life skills” class focused mostly on how to “love thy neighbour” etc. If I had my way, here are some classes I wish they taught in school:
1. Tax101. Ever done a tax return? or had to apply for your SIN number or TFN or whatever they call it in your country? It’s not really that hard- but time and time again I meet people who are actually willing to pay a fortune to have their tax done by an agency! WHY? The form you fill out COMES WITH AN INSTRUCTION SHEET! I guess it’s because we’ve been brought up to be fearful of the tax man. People are terrified that if they fill out their return incorrectly they’ll be arrested for fraud, or tax evasion or whatever it is. I wish that in high school they had a Tax 101 class, it would really make people less afraid, or at least more aware of where their hard earned money is actually going.
2. Transportation: Navigating the Metro Rail Driving, car registration, fixing a flat tire, car insurance, basic road etiquette- all important for those of us who drive. And for those that don’t- public transport classes- how to commute, train etiquette, buying travel fare, how to speak “conductor”, etc. They could even have a special class on air travel and the ins and outs of airport security, luggage claims etc. ALL extremely useful- ALL completely ignored by the school syllabis.
3.Mixology for Beginners Now of course I don’t expect High School to teach pupils how to drink copious amounts of alcohol without getting sick, but maybe a few lessons on the basic drinking know-how. For instance, I wish someone had told me that it’s a bad idea to mix spirits. Or that red wine will leave me with the most brutal of hangovers. A basic class on how to drink with class (one day) would be oh so helpful, and could have prevented so many awkward moments!
4. Business: Climbing the Corporate Ladder in a Cut-Throat Office You know how they teach you the very basics of writing a resume, and how to dress for an interview? why not take that class further: teach about the ins and outs of office gossip; surviving your first staff party; how to claw your way to the top, without feeling remorse for those you saboutage; the importance of reading contracts; how to tell if you’re being scammed/underpaid/treated unfairly in the workplace.
There are so many more things, too. Like basic cooking; what to do in the event of an apocalypse; how to make a basic fire; how to make your last $10 go the extra mile at the grocery store; why it’s never a good idea to date long-distance. But NO, they taught us the Theorum of Pythagoras, and the History of Shakespeare, and sent us on our way. Makes no sense. sigh

What They Don’t Teach You in School (Or How I use the Theorum of Pythagorus in everyday life)

A while ago I reblogged a short post someone had written about how they never learnt any important “life skills” at school. The thought keeps coming back to me, and I find myself constantly encountering new challenges, even now, in my mid-twenties. (Did I just say mid-twenties? Oh Goodness, I’m getting old!) Things that everyone just seem to know about. I can’t help but feel like I missed out on something. When I was in school, we never had any kind of class that even remotely prepared us for real life. Being a Catholic Convent, our “life skills” class focused mostly on how to “love thy neighbour” etc. If I had my way, here are some classes I wish they taught in school:

1. Tax101. Ever done a tax return? or had to apply for your SIN number or TFN or whatever they call it in your country? It’s not really that hard- but time and time again I meet people who are actually willing to pay a fortune to have their tax done by an agency! WHY? The form you fill out COMES WITH AN INSTRUCTION SHEET! I guess it’s because we’ve been brought up to be fearful of the tax man. People are terrified that if they fill out their return incorrectly they’ll be arrested for fraud, or tax evasion or whatever it is. I wish that in high school they had a Tax 101 class, it would really make people less afraid, or at least more aware of where their hard earned money is actually going.

2. Transportation: Navigating the Metro Rail Driving, car registration, fixing a flat tire, car insurance, basic road etiquette- all important for those of us who drive. And for those that don’t- public transport classes- how to commute, train etiquette, buying travel fare, how to speak “conductor”, etc. They could even have a special class on air travel and the ins and outs of airport security, luggage claims etc. ALL extremely useful- ALL completely ignored by the school syllabis.

3.Mixology for Beginners Now of course I don’t expect High School to teach pupils how to drink copious amounts of alcohol without getting sick, but maybe a few lessons on the basic drinking know-how. For instance, I wish someone had told me that it’s a bad idea to mix spirits. Or that red wine will leave me with the most brutal of hangovers. A basic class on how to drink with class (one day) would be oh so helpful, and could have prevented so many awkward moments!

4. Business: Climbing the Corporate Ladder in a Cut-Throat Office You know how they teach you the very basics of writing a resume, and how to dress for an interview? why not take that class further: teach about the ins and outs of office gossip; surviving your first staff party; how to claw your way to the top, without feeling remorse for those you saboutage; the importance of reading contracts; how to tell if you’re being scammed/underpaid/treated unfairly in the workplace.

There are so many more things, too. Like basic cooking; what to do in the event of an apocalypse; how to make a basic fire; how to make your last $10 go the extra mile at the grocery store; why it’s never a good idea to date long-distance. But NO, they taught us the Theorum of Pythagoras, and the History of Shakespeare, and sent us on our way. Makes no sense. sigh

(Source: jkimbrue)

The Con’s of a breakup:
Obviously breaking up with someone sucks. There is no nicer way to put it. Your emotions get all crazy, your heart hurts and your confidence is shaken. Nobody enjoys having to be broken up with, or having to break up with someone. It’s nasty business. BUT there are a few good things that come out of a break up (I’m not joking). In order to soften the blow, I have compiled a list of all the good things that come out of one of the worst things. Just a small thing to cheer you up:
1.       You get a lot of sympathy time.
-          Living at home, whenever I go through a break-up, my family is almost too nice. They tread around me lightly, as if any small thing could set me off and send me running to my room in tears. This could hurt my feelings – do I really look that crazy? But it doesn’t- instead I get what I need most- privacy and time to heal. I can stay locked up in my room, watching old episodes of Friends, eating way too much chocolate and wearing the same daggy pyjama pants for days on end.
2.       You’re motivated to make yourself better.
-          My last boyfriend told me that we needed to end things because I had a lot of growing up to do. He also implied that I could be lazy at times and that he needed someone that would motivate him to get out more often and not just sit around drinking beer and relaxing. At the time I was rather offended. As I took the time to think about it, though (in between episodes of Season 4 of Friends- Chandler was sooo adorable back then!) I realised that I did need to get my act in to gear. Nothing like a harsh breakup to make you realise what you need to fix. So I joined a gym, and took on the challenge to run 5kms by the end of the month. I also started to put my travel plans into action, and cut down on all the beer. (Take that!)
3.       You can be totally selfish- just for a little while.
-          When you’re in a relationship- it’s all about compromise. When you’re newly single- well, it’s finally time to do all those things you’ve wanted to do for ages but couldn’t. Feel like watching nothing but Chick Flicks on a Friday night? DO IT. Feel like wearing that ultra sleezy dress and going dancing with the girls? DO IT. Feel like ordering that pizza with EXTRA garlic? Bitch-  just do it. For the first time, and possibly only time, you don’t have to answer to anybody. Enjoy the freedom.
4.       You Learn.
-          One of the long term results of a break up is that you realise all the things in that relationship that just weren’t working. While it isn’t likely that you will get back together with the dumper/dumpee, it does mean you will learn what not to do (or what to do- depending on why you broke up) in your next relationship. The trick is to remember these things to avoid falling into the same pattern and making the same mistakes next time around.
5.       You realise that everything is temporary.
-          There is a reason they say that first break-ups are the hardest. You can’t believe you’re ever going to feel normal again. The hole in your chest eats at you and everything reminds you of what you’ve lost (think of any song, any TV show romance, and stupid movie starring Katherine Heigl) but the truth is, as time passes, you DO get over it. Things do get better. It can take ages- sometimes years, but eventually things shift back to normal and you find yourself moving on. Once you realise this, once you learn that the hurt and the heartache don’t last forever, the next break up isn’t so bad.
So while I’m no fan of break-up’s (who is, I have to ask?) At least it is good to know that something worthwhile comes out of them.
[Note: I failed to mention the bad sides of a break up, because that’s going to take up a whole other post… stay tuned.]

The Con’s of a breakup:

Obviously breaking up with someone sucks. There is no nicer way to put it. Your emotions get all crazy, your heart hurts and your confidence is shaken. Nobody enjoys having to be broken up with, or having to break up with someone. It’s nasty business. BUT there are a few good things that come out of a break up (I’m not joking). In order to soften the blow, I have compiled a list of all the good things that come out of one of the worst things. Just a small thing to cheer you up:

1.       You get a lot of sympathy time.

-          Living at home, whenever I go through a break-up, my family is almost too nice. They tread around me lightly, as if any small thing could set me off and send me running to my room in tears. This could hurt my feelings – do I really look that crazy? But it doesn’t- instead I get what I need most- privacy and time to heal. I can stay locked up in my room, watching old episodes of Friends, eating way too much chocolate and wearing the same daggy pyjama pants for days on end.

2.       You’re motivated to make yourself better.

-          My last boyfriend told me that we needed to end things because I had a lot of growing up to do. He also implied that I could be lazy at times and that he needed someone that would motivate him to get out more often and not just sit around drinking beer and relaxing. At the time I was rather offended. As I took the time to think about it, though (in between episodes of Season 4 of Friends- Chandler was sooo adorable back then!) I realised that I did need to get my act in to gear. Nothing like a harsh breakup to make you realise what you need to fix. So I joined a gym, and took on the challenge to run 5kms by the end of the month. I also started to put my travel plans into action, and cut down on all the beer. (Take that!)

3.       You can be totally selfish- just for a little while.

-          When you’re in a relationship- it’s all about compromise. When you’re newly single- well, it’s finally time to do all those things you’ve wanted to do for ages but couldn’t. Feel like watching nothing but Chick Flicks on a Friday night? DO IT. Feel like wearing that ultra sleezy dress and going dancing with the girls? DO IT. Feel like ordering that pizza with EXTRA garlic? Bitch-  just do it. For the first time, and possibly only time, you don’t have to answer to anybody. Enjoy the freedom.

4.       You Learn.

-          One of the long term results of a break up is that you realise all the things in that relationship that just weren’t working. While it isn’t likely that you will get back together with the dumper/dumpee, it does mean you will learn what not to do (or what to do- depending on why you broke up) in your next relationship. The trick is to remember these things to avoid falling into the same pattern and making the same mistakes next time around.

5.       You realise that everything is temporary.

-          There is a reason they say that first break-ups are the hardest. You can’t believe you’re ever going to feel normal again. The hole in your chest eats at you and everything reminds you of what you’ve lost (think of any song, any TV show romance, and stupid movie starring Katherine Heigl) but the truth is, as time passes, you DO get over it. Things do get better. It can take ages- sometimes years, but eventually things shift back to normal and you find yourself moving on. Once you realise this, once you learn that the hurt and the heartache don’t last forever, the next break up isn’t so bad.

So while I’m no fan of break-up’s (who is, I have to ask?) At least it is good to know that something worthwhile comes out of them.

[Note: I failed to mention the bad sides of a break up, because that’s going to take up a whole other post… stay tuned.]

(via nadhirahzufar)

I never learnt how to drive. I am now in my twenties without a clue about gas or gears or anything car related. I have never watched a race or been in awe of a sports car. In fact, I don’t even know most car brands besides maybe VW and Ford.
I grew up with the idea that I would be environmentally considerate and always take public transport. I decided to spend money on expensive apartments near the train stations or tram lines, rather than splurge on my own vehicle.
The one time I did change my mind and decide to give driving a go, was when  I was 17 years old. I decided to drive around a parking lot with my friend in her parents’ old red Toyota. I sat in the driver’s seat, stretched out my legs and slowly drove forward. I did this perfectly for about ten minutes; I could even turn slightly, and change lanes. Then I swerved a little too hard, and realised I was directly in line with a tree. I slammed on brakes, in the nick of time. Only problem, was that I had mistaken the accelerator for the brake, and had actually sped up my accident. Luckily nobody was hurt, but they car was destroyed and I spent the rest of my summer working at my friend’s parents’ cafe to pay it off.
Years later and I hadn’t even considered driving. That was until the other night- I went to see a film in the city with some friends. After, we had a few beers at the pub and stumbled to our tram stop, only to discover that the tram had been closed due to maintenance. It was around midnight. The last train was about to leave. We ran to the station and caught the only line we were even vaguely familiar with. I won’t ramble on, but let’s just say all of this confusion led to the worst of fights, being stranded in a dark and unfamiliar suburb waiting for a cab driver, and a rather costly lift home.
It was then that I realised, no matter how I try to avoid it, life is easier with your own car, (unless you have access to the Floo network, I guess) so I have finally started driving lessons and I am taking my tests in a few weeks.  Wish me luck; I think I am going to need it.

I never learnt how to drive. I am now in my twenties without a clue about gas or gears or anything car related. I have never watched a race or been in awe of a sports car. In fact, I don’t even know most car brands besides maybe VW and Ford.

I grew up with the idea that I would be environmentally considerate and always take public transport. I decided to spend money on expensive apartments near the train stations or tram lines, rather than splurge on my own vehicle.

The one time I did change my mind and decide to give driving a go, was when  I was 17 years old. I decided to drive around a parking lot with my friend in her parents’ old red Toyota. I sat in the driver’s seat, stretched out my legs and slowly drove forward. I did this perfectly for about ten minutes; I could even turn slightly, and change lanes. Then I swerved a little too hard, and realised I was directly in line with a tree. I slammed on brakes, in the nick of time. Only problem, was that I had mistaken the accelerator for the brake, and had actually sped up my accident. Luckily nobody was hurt, but they car was destroyed and I spent the rest of my summer working at my friend’s parents’ cafe to pay it off.

Years later and I hadn’t even considered driving. That was until the other night- I went to see a film in the city with some friends. After, we had a few beers at the pub and stumbled to our tram stop, only to discover that the tram had been closed due to maintenance. It was around midnight. The last train was about to leave. We ran to the station and caught the only line we were even vaguely familiar with. I won’t ramble on, but let’s just say all of this confusion led to the worst of fights, being stranded in a dark and unfamiliar suburb waiting for a cab driver, and a rather costly lift home.

It was then that I realised, no matter how I try to avoid it, life is easier with your own car, (unless you have access to the Floo network, I guess) so I have finally started driving lessons and I am taking my tests in a few weeks.  Wish me luck; I think I am going to need it.