The Con’s of a breakup:
Obviously breaking up with someone sucks. There is no nicer way to put it. Your emotions get all crazy, your heart hurts and your confidence is shaken. Nobody enjoys having to be broken up with, or having to break up with someone. It’s nasty business. BUT there are a few good things that come out of a break up (I’m not joking). In order to soften the blow, I have compiled a list of all the good things that come out of one of the worst things. Just a small thing to cheer you up:
1. You get a lot of sympathy time.
- Living at home, whenever I go through a break-up, my family is almost too nice. They tread around me lightly, as if any small thing could set me off and send me running to my room in tears. This could hurt my feelings – do I really look that crazy? But it doesn’t- instead I get what I need most- privacy and time to heal. I can stay locked up in my room, watching old episodes of Friends, eating way too much chocolate and wearing the same daggy pyjama pants for days on end.
2. You’re motivated to make yourself better.
- My last boyfriend told me that we needed to end things because I had a lot of growing up to do. He also implied that I could be lazy at times and that he needed someone that would motivate him to get out more often and not just sit around drinking beer and relaxing. At the time I was rather offended. As I took the time to think about it, though (in between episodes of Season 4 of Friends- Chandler was sooo adorable back then!) I realised that I did need to get my act in to gear. Nothing like a harsh breakup to make you realise what you need to fix. So I joined a gym, and took on the challenge to run 5kms by the end of the month. I also started to put my travel plans into action, and cut down on all the beer. (Take that!)
3. You can be totally selfish- just for a little while.
- When you’re in a relationship- it’s all about compromise. When you’re newly single- well, it’s finally time to do all those things you’ve wanted to do for ages but couldn’t. Feel like watching nothing but Chick Flicks on a Friday night? DO IT. Feel like wearing that ultra sleezy dress and going dancing with the girls? DO IT. Feel like ordering that pizza with EXTRA garlic? Bitch- just do it. For the first time, and possibly only time, you don’t have to answer to anybody. Enjoy the freedom.
4. You Learn.
- One of the long term results of a break up is that you realise all the things in that relationship that just weren’t working. While it isn’t likely that you will get back together with the dumper/dumpee, it does mean you will learn what not to do (or what to do- depending on why you broke up) in your next relationship. The trick is to remember these things to avoid falling into the same pattern and making the same mistakes next time around.
5. You realise that everything is temporary.
- There is a reason they say that first break-ups are the hardest. You can’t believe you’re ever going to feel normal again. The hole in your chest eats at you and everything reminds you of what you’ve lost (think of any song, any TV show romance, and stupid movie starring Katherine Heigl) but the truth is, as time passes, you DO get over it. Things do get better. It can take ages- sometimes years, but eventually things shift back to normal and you find yourself moving on. Once you realise this, once you learn that the hurt and the heartache don’t last forever, the next break up isn’t so bad.
So while I’m no fan of break-up’s (who is, I have to ask?) At least it is good to know that something worthwhile comes out of them.
[Note: I failed to mention the bad sides of a break up, because that’s going to take up a whole other post… stay tuned.]